My apologies to Dr. Seuss and to all that love his children’s books. Like many parents, I almost know Green Eggs and Ham from memory. 

And like many Americans, I just can’t stand what is going on in Washington, where those we have elected seem to have been eating green eggs - something that just doesn't make sense, except maybe to a child. Otherwise, why would they forget all that made this country great?

 
I am Uncle Sam 
Uncle Sam I am 
 
Do you like 
green backs from TARP? 
 
I do not like them, 
Uncle Sam-I-am. 
I do not like 
green backs from TARP 
 
Would you like them 
here or would you like them there? 
 
I would not like them 
here or there. 
I would not like them 
anywhere. 
I do not like 
green backs from TARP. 
I do not like them, 
Uncle Sam-I-am. 
 
Would you spend them 
on GMAC? 
For they’re now a bank you see.

       
I do not like them 
for GMAC. 
I do not like them 
here or there. 
I do not like them anywhere. 
I do not like greenbacks from TARP. 
I do not like them, Uncle Sam-I-am. 
 
Would you spend them on AIG? 
Would you spend them if they’re free? 
 
Not for AIG. 
Not even if they’re free. 
Not for GMAC. 
Uncle Sam, please let me be. 
I would not spend them here or there. 
I would not spend them anywhere. 
I do not want greenbacks from TARP. 
I do not like them, Uncle Sam-I-am. 
 
Would you? Could you? 
For a car? 
Spend them Spend them!  
Here GM they are. 
 
I would not,  
could not, 
for GM. 
 
You may like them. 
You will see. 
You may like them 
for a credit card spree! 
 
I would not, could not for a spree. 
Not for GM! You let me be! 
 
I do not like them for an investment bank. 
I do not like them for a fat cat bonus. 
They will not work for Bush or Obama. 
Which leaves the debt for them with me and your mamma. 
 
Say! 
In the dark? 
Here in the dark! 
Would you, could you, in the dark? 
 
I’m in the dark Uncle Sam I am, 
As to who took the green backs from Tarp for what I do not know.

But unaccountability is just another blow. 
 
Would you, could you, for a spa? 
I would not, could not, for a spa. 
Not in the dark. Not for a car.

Not for an investment bank. 
Not for a fat cat bonus. 
I do not like them, Sam, you see. 
Not for GMAC. Not if there’re free. 
I do not like them here or there. 
I do not like them anywhere! 
 
You do not like 
greenbacks from TARP? 
 
I do not 
like them, 
Uncle Sam-I-am. 
 
Could you, would you 
with a goat? 
 
I would not, 
could not, 
with a goat! 
 
Would you, could you, 
on a boat? 
 
I could not, would not, for a sinking boat. 
I will not, will not, with a goat.

For Uncle Sam-I-Am you see, I am the goat who get’s to pay for all this bloat.

Not in the dark! Not for a credit card spree! 
Not for a car! You let me be! 
I do not like them for a spa. 
I do not like them with AIG. 
I will not spend them for GMAC.

And all the people think they’re free. 
I do not like them here or there. 
I do not like them ANYWHERE 
 
I do not like 
greenbacks from TARP! 
 
I do not like them, 
Uncle Sam-I-am.

I will not try them Sam you see, so please, oh please -  just let me be. 

__________________________

Kansas Liberty columnist Bill Wyckoff is president of Labette Bank, a community bank with locations throughout southeast Kansas. He lives on a farm outside Altamont, Kan. A graduate of Kansas State University with an MBA from Southern Illinois University, he enjoys collecting antique John Deere tractors and driving his hemi orange Dodge Challenger. Email bwyckoff@labettebank.com

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